Saturday, October 27, 2007

Full Moon at the Faire

Tonight was magical at the PA Renaissance Faire. Autumn is my favorite time of year. I love the colors of the red and yellow leaves against the sky, and the crisp smell in the air. This year, Autumn came late. It has been hot for most of the season. Just this week, the air became cool and we got some well-deserved rain that the Earth has been craving. As a young woman, my mom would take me to the Ren Faire for my birthday on the weekend closest to October 14th. Today was a sweet reminder of those days, and it brought joy to me and feelings of warmth and love.

My husband and I have been trying to conceive a child for sometime now. Next month, we are scheduled to begin fertility treatments. I have been wrestling with some spiritual issues, and have been asking for help from the Divine in helping me to work them out. Yesterday, we brought our fish in from the pond to winter inside in aquariums. Our net was the right size to take the fish out of the pond and put them in a bucket, but it was too large to catch them in bucket to scoop them out and put them in the aquarium. Because of this, we had to catch our fish with our hands and gently transfer them to their new homes. I was able to catch the koi and a medium sized goldfish on the first try. When I caught them, they got very still in my hands, and let me transfer them. When I put my hands in the aquarium water and opened them up, the fish swam out of my hands with a squishy splash. I felt so connected to those little lives, and it felt like a little birth. I instantly burst into tears (the good kind!) and had to collect myself a little after the experience before I could help transfer the other fish.

Today, I had a fainting spell at the Ren Faire. It was very unusual. I felt fine all day, and it hit me like a ton of bricks. Sweating, cold skin, feeling hot, and almost falling off my chair. I even had to take off my cloak, and undo my corset! The woman that I work for told me she thinks I am pregnant. That reaction was what she experienced with both her boys. I checked my calendar, and it is possible. I am five days away from the first day of my cycle, and that is when hormones start doubling every day in the body of a pregnant woman. I don't want to get my hopes up, but it sure feels like the Universe is sending me positive messages about fertility and birth.

This coming week is Samhain, or Halloween. The veil between the worlds is very thin around this time. That's the perfect time for helping the spirit of our child (or children!) into this world. I have even asked my ancestors to help guide them.

It was beautiful to see the Shire in the dark as I walked out to my car after working at the Faire all day. The beautiful wild gardens and quaint buildings lit by little torches, the laughter of people good-byeing in the streets, sounds of song and revelry from the Finale were all around me. As I stopped before the gate to take a last look around before I went home from my last day of the season, I was amazed to see beautiful fireworks right next to an amazing almost full moon. I have always found fireworks to be magical, and tonight was no exception. The moon was full with her silvery pregnant belly, and I just know that if I am not pregnant now, it will be soon. Our children are on their way. It is finally time.


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