Friday, October 27, 2006


Today was a great fall day. It was very cold out. . .in the low 40's. I watch my friend's 2-year-old little boy on Fridays, and we had a wonderful time discovering what fall is supposed to be like today! We have had a couple of very warm autumns here in Pennsylvania. This year, brisk weather came fast. And with it came jackets, hats, cold and runny noses, and fingers too cold to hold the dog's leash. It also brought deer very close to the house. After we went inside to warm up, we noticed a couple of deer close to the windows and we decided to watch them. They seemed to be very interested in the leaves and berries at the edge of the garden, and one by one, most of them came to eat just feet from where we were watching them. There were ten of them, but three does stayed farther away under another tree. One big doe was bullying the rest of them. She even took her hoof and pushed one little one out of the way! Those must be some great leaves they were eating! One of the other large does under the tree stood up on her hind legs and sniffed the air. We had been smelling the sure signs of fall ourselves earlier in the day, smelling the fallen leaves and the start of a rain shower. The little boy was so fun to watch while he was observing the deer outside of his house- he talked directly to them, turning the lamp on for them so that they could see better! He talks to everything. . .trees, water, deer. It's a nice reminder that the world is full of sentient beings who are all affected by the change of the seasons and the turning of the wheel of the year.

Monday, October 23, 2006

On the Subject of Leaving


It's been some time since I posted. One thing after another this fall, including a nasty bout with asthmatic bronchitis!

Anyway, today at 3:30 am, my husband Chris had to leave on another business trip out to Nevada. He'll be gone two weeks. Part of me wants this to get easier, but another part of me is glad that I get so upset when he goes. I am glad that after almost 2 years of being together, I still feel like the earth is splitting open and I am getting sucked in when he leaves. I love having him around, and being close to him. I love that he is in my life!

I used to be a self-sufficient woman, doing mostly everything for myself. Before I met Chris, I was comfortable living alone, and enjoyed my time to myself. I still enjoy the moments and the time I carve out for "self time", but now I enjoy the time he and I spend together just as much. It's even enough to know that he and I are in the same house, even if we are in separate rooms doing individual things without each other. There is a special "knowing" that we are always connected that feels so good. It's still there while he travels, but the fact that he is 2000+ miles away is daunting. I love to feel him next to me while we are sleeping, and I love to wake up to his sleepy face. I don't sleep well when he is away- it's hard for me to fall asleep without him here. I always feel so safe when we are together. Like all is right with the world. I think this is going to be a long two weeks this time. We both have plenty to do to keep us busy, but I don't think that will matter this time, at least to me. I already miss him, and he's only been gone 1/2 an hour!